i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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