party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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