You really coming over, don't trick.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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