What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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