The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
pray to the hookup gods
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
