your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I looked at my own cervix.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
