ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
