What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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