whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
