Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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