Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
