between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize