I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
