I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
