I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
