Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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