It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
