he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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