"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
