It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
