you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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