sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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