I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
