I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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