I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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