Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
