And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
