He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
