Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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