Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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