They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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