your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Randomize