ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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