I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
They took my balls.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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