Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
