nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
