Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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