I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
