we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
