I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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