My room smells like vodka and shame
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Randomize
