just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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