i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
