Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
