I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I have aggressive nipples.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
