Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
