Umm I'm too high to move.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize