we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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