we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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