first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
