Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
