Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
