My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
