So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize