How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
