I just made out with a guy for $7.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
