Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
