that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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