you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Who died my cat blue again?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
