no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
