Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize