can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
