How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
