Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
