i don't like sucking hair
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
