I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
