i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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