Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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