Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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