is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
