Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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