Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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