Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
