Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
