who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
