It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
