im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
