She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
