yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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