my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
