rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
